{"id":349,"date":"2023-05-31T13:18:11","date_gmt":"2023-05-31T17:18:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev-pearl-forte.pantheonsite.io\/?p=349"},"modified":"2023-05-31T13:18:11","modified_gmt":"2023-05-31T17:18:11","slug":"monogamy-for-everyone-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pearlforte.com\/ar\/monogamy-for-everyone-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Monogamy for Everyone (AR)"},"content":{"rendered":"

EPS 55 – Is Monogamy Real?\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

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Hello everyone and welcome to the Pearl Forte podcast\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I was having a conversation with a friend about Monogamy and what Monogamy really is\u2026 and I had an \u201caha\u201d moment after our conversation<\/p>\n

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The conversation about Monogamy got started last year when i was being interviewed in one of the clinics in Amman for a freelance job, the psychiatrist asked me \u201cdo you think we were born monogamous?\u201d I can\u2019t remember if I answered yes or no but I feel that I may have said \u201cyes\u201d because I had just met someone and I was feeling very passionate towards them and I was bias by what I felt at that time\u2026 down the line\u2026 I ended up having two back to back clients that struggled with desire and passion in their marriage and were considering ending the marriage\u2026 and it got me thinking: are we really meant to mate<\/i> with one person for life? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Lets quickly cover the terms that have the word \u201cmonogamy\u201d in them: Monogamy<\/b> is being with one partner and not having multiple partners at the same time, there is consensual non-monogamy<\/b> which means agreeing with your partner to be with more than one partner this could include swinging, threesomes or more, an open relationship and polyamory..and there is the non-consensual non-monogamy <\/b>which means someone is with more than one partner without the other partners consent, sometimes the partner is aware of it but hasn\u2019t consented to it, or is unaware of their partners extra sexual activities outside the relationship agreement\u2026. hence it is non-consensual non-monogamy\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I know that many people have been in monogamous relationships, especially couples from the older generation\u2026 but the question then escalated to \u201cbut did they want<\/b> to remain together for so many decades or did they not<\/b> have a choice?\u201d \u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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We know that relationships are difficult to maintain, if you\u2019ve listened to my previous episodes you\u2019ve heard me say that the average lifeline for \u2018passion and desire\u2019 in a relationship can last anywhere between 3 months to 2 years\u2026that\u2019s usually the time when we are fired up and completely into our partners\u2026but what happens after that? Where does it leave the commitment for monogamy?\u00a0<\/span>I believe that committing to be with one person is a decision<\/b> and not a feeling, because our feelings change whereas a commitment has the intention to be honored \u2026.<\/p>\n

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Some individuals can love one individual but not be able to be with one person only, this is called non-monogamy\u2026because the truth is Monogamy is not for everyone \u2026 . If a couple choose to be none-monogamous there needs to be an agreement between the initial couple on what non-monogamy looks like, the agreement includes what they are allowed to do physically and sexually with others, where and when they are allowed to be involved with other partners, and IF emotions can be involved or not\u2026 In monogamous relationships these agreements are never discussed or mentioned because the couple aren\u2019t open to being with other individuals\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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But let me tell you a little bit about my \u201caha\u201d moment\u2026 I was telling my friend that I had a change of heart and that I don\u2019t think we are born to be monogamous\u2026 its hard\u2026 and today\u2026its even harder for this generation to maintain a relationship in comparison to the previous generation\u2026 and she said something golden to me\u2026.<\/p>\n

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She said, \u201cThere is a difference between loving and being with one person for the rest of our life\u2026 and between loving and being with one person (one person at a time)\u00a0 <\/span>\u2026 both are monogamy\u201d\u2026. and tab3an this makes a lot of sense but sometimes we are very narrow with our way of thinking that we limit ourselves instead of expand our vision\u2026 and I have to admit my thoughts were very narrow when it came to monogamy\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Now lets quickly branch out to reasons why individuals choose to be with or without someone\u2026I was asked, what do you call someone who loves an individual but doesn\u2019t want to be with them? Can they really love someone and let them go or watch them be with someone else?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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I think each experience is different, sometimes individuals are not ready emotionally, financially or mentally to commit, sometimes individuals aren\u2019t compatible intellectually, socially and so on\u2026. and sometimes they don\u2019t love an individual enough to choose them\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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sometimes they are unsure or scared..fear of relationships and commitments is real \u2026 But there is a difference between love and relationship or marriage.. sometimes the situation feels bigger than the individuals that it is difficult to take that step\u2026 I used to believe that if you love someone you would move mountains for them\u2026but as I grew older I realized that I can love someone but also evaluate the impact of what being with them would be\u2026<\/p>\n

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